One of the goals of science is not to prove theories right, but to prove them wrong. When this happens, a theory must be changed or thrown away. It is important to report the results even if the outcome proved the theory wrong.

If someone does not want everyone to know that the theory was wrong, he or she might not report the results right away. What if the theory turned out wrong so it was thrown away but the outcome was not reported at all?

How does this matter with the Book of Mormon? Look at horses. Science maintains that horses in America had died with the large mammal extinction. They were not in America again until their arrival from Europe. Science does not support horses in the Book of Mormon.

Here is a little story. You decide if the scientific method was followed and if results were witheld or just thrown aside because they were not the desired outcome.

In 1935 a horse skull was found in a Wisconsin mound. In 1936 a college student found out about the skull. He confessed that when he was in his teens he and a friend had buried that skull in the mound. Like teens today, they laughed what someone would think if they found it two hundred years later but as an adult he wanted to make things right. The confession did not get reported right away. In 1962 the former student was now a professor and he wrote a statement of his teen mischief. Another professor identified the skull as a western mustang and noted that rodents had gnawed it, meaning it had been above ground for some time before it was buried in the mound. This backed up the confession.

The Spencer Lake horse hoax was finally exposed in 1964 in the Wisconsin Archaeologist.

http://www.archive.org/stream/wisconsinarcheol44wiscrich#page/n367/mode/2up

In 1967 radiocarbon dating results were published for the mound, showing it to be in the period from 500 to 1000 AD. There are people who need more proof when things don’t agree with what they want to believe. The radiocarbon dates for the mound caused some to wonder if the horse skull was that old too, even after the hoax had been exposed.

In 2001, there were people trying to establish proof for horses in the Book of Mormon.

http://maxwellinstitute.byu.edu/publications/jbms/?vol=10&num=1&id=246

“Meanwhile, Dr. Steven E. Jones of the BYU physics department has for several years been tracking down horse bones in North America considered to predate the European conquest. Professor Jones’s purpose for this search is to submit the bones to tests by the radiocarbon method (some of that work has taken advantage of assistance from FARMS). So far, one or more finds appear to be possibly of pre-Spanish Conquest date, although definitive results will take more work. Further work is being done by Yuri Kuchinsky, a researcher in Canada who has been pursuing a variety of other evidence, based mainly on Native American lore, about possible pre-Conquest horses in North America.”

The Spencer Lake Horse skull was one of the objects to be tested. What if it really were as old as the mound dates? That type of evidence would vindicate the horse in the Book of Mormon. The outcome proved the theory wrong. The skull was not as old as the mound, it dated in the time period of the teen prank. For some reason the results did not get reported in FARMS publications at BYU, but the radiocarbon results were printed in 2004 in this non-LDS book:

Our Collective Responsibility: The Ethics and Practice of Archaeological Collections Stewardship, ed. S. Terry Childs, Washington, D. C.: Society for American Archaeology, 2004

http://books.google.com/books?ei=8Uf1Tsv8IIHZgAeDvri1Ag&id=RS5mAAAAMAAJ&dq=%22the+ethics+and+practice+of+archaeological+collections+stewardship%22&q=ams

Page 30 has the radiocarbon testing. Only a portion can be read at the online link. With the paper copy it says this:

“In this case those conclusions are testable. In 2002 I was contacted by Dr. Stephen Jones of Brigham Young University, a researcher conducting a project on the antiquity of New World horses. He was willing to provide funds for dating the skull using accelerator mass spectrometery (AMS) in order to settle questions regarding the skull’s antiquity. A single sample was removed by MPM staff from the aboral margin of the jaw near the gonion caudale. It was separated into three subsamples, one held as a voucher and the others independently submitted to different radiocarbon labs (Beta Analytic and Stafford Research Laboratories) for AMS dating. The samples were of approximately the same size and yielded results in close agreement. Beta 167209 yielded an uncalibrated date of 110 +- 40 BP; Stafford SR6189 yielded an uncalibrated date of 190 +- 35 BP.”

Mormons did not notice this book and those at BYU who were involved in requesting the testing did not print the results for other Mormons to see. Science worked, a theory was proven wrong but the results were not published by those who had hoped for a different outcome.

In 2005, FAIR made a video that included horses in America and the Spencer Lake Horse hoax was thought of as evidence for horses. Watch closely at 0:50.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkydMSmv1Zo&feature=player_embedded

In 2008, a post graduate student informed FAIR of the error and provided them with the source for the 2004 radiocarbon results.

http://chriscarrollsmith.blogspot.com/2008/02/spencer-lake-horse-skull.html

Why didn’t the individual at BYU who requested the radiocarbon dating of the skull publish the results? Why is the video is still on youtube? How many Mormon friends and family might see this video and believe it?

Below I have compiled a list of references, along with samples (some very lengthy…OK, this entire post is VERY long – that’s why I have highlighted the good stuff) from those references, of talks and lessons that refer to personal apostasy from the LDS.org website. My primary purpose in collecting this information was to try to determine the most prominent teachings to members of the church as it relates to those who decide to leave the church.

While I cannot emphasize enough my complete disagreement with what the church teaches in this regard, I can understand why members of the church may be so judgmental when it comes to characterizing those who decide to leave the church for whatever reason. It seems that in the eyes of many members of the church, no reason could ever be good enough for leaving the church…and when you understand what members of the church are taught about this, it is easy to see why.

While my research only represents a small sample of the amount of information contained throughout the church website, I would challenge anyone to come up with sources, prevalent in the church, that do not seek to characterize those who leave the church as evil, wanting to sin, being offended or being ignorant in some way.

I have highlighted the main points in the information below that seek to characterize in some way those that leave the church. My comments will be sprinkled throughout in bold italics. Enjoy!

“Avoiding Personal Apostasy” Ensign June 2009 By Elder Claudio D. Zivic, Of the Seventy

“…However, we need to be concerned and watchful that we do not fall into personal apostasy, which can result from several causes. I will mention only a few.

Apostasy frequently results when a person commits serious sin but does not repent. To silence his conscience or justify his sinful actions, the individual moves away from the truth, looking for imperfections in others or questioning Church doctrine with which he no longer agrees.

Conflicts between Church members can also lead to apostasy. Some individuals begin to think the Church is not true when they feel that a leader did not treat them well. They become offended and, without considering what they are losing, they stray from the Church.

Faultfinding can be another source of personal apostasy. When we look for faults in others or begin to think we could make better decisions than our leaders, we should remember the experience of Oliver Cowdery, the second elder of the Church…

… I testify that we can avoid the mists of darkness that lead to personal apostasy by repenting of our sins, overcoming offense, eliminating faultfinding, and following our Church leaders. We can also avoid those mists by humbling ourselves, forgiving others, keeping our covenants, partaking of the sacrament worthily each week, and strengthening our testimonies through prayer, daily scripture study, temple attendance where possible, magnifying our Church callings, and serving our fellowmen.

We need to be concerned and watchful in order to avoid the mists of darkness that can lead to personal apostasy.”

Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young Chapter 12: Preventing Personal Apostasy

“Teachings of Brigham Young

Apostasy is turning away from the Church and ultimately denying the faith.

What is that which turns people away from this Church? Very trifling affairs are generally the commencement of their divergence from the right path. If we follow a compass, the needle of which does not point correctly, a very slight deviation in the beginning will lead us, when we have traveled some distance, far to one side of the true point for which we are aiming (DBY, 83).

If the Saints neglect to pray, and violate the day that is set apart for the worship of God, they will lose his Spirit. If a man shall suffer himself to be overcome with anger, and curse and swear, taking the name of the Deity in vain, he cannot retain the Holy Spirit. In short, if a man shall do anything which he knows to be wrong, and repenteth not, he cannot enjoy the Holy Spirit, but will walk in darkness and ultimately deny the faith (DBY, 85).

It is most astonishing to every principle of intelligence that any man or woman will close their eyes upon eternal things after they have been made acquainted with them, and let the (gay) things of this world, the lusts of the eye, and the lusts of the flesh, entangle their minds and draw them one hair’s breadth from the principles of life (DBY, 82).

It was said here this morning that no person ever apostatized, without actual transgression. Omission of duty leads to commission (DBY, 82).

You hear many say, “I am a Latter-day Saint, and I never will apostatize;” “I am a Latter-day Saint, and shall be to the day of my death.” I never make such declarations, and never shall. I think I have learned that of myself I have no power, but my system is organized to increase in wisdom, knowledge, and power, getting a little here and a little there. But when I am left to myself, I have no power, and my wisdom is foolishness; then I cling close to the Lord, and I have power in his name. I think I have learned the Gospel so as to know, that in and of myself I am nothing [see Alma 26:12] (DBY, 84).

Let a man or woman who has received much of the power of God, visions and revelations, turn away from the holy commandments of the Lord, and it seems that their senses are taken from them, their understanding and judgment in righteousness are taken away, they go into darkness, and become like a blind person who gropes by the wall [see Isaiah 59:9–10; Deuteronomy 28:29] (DBY, 82–83).

Many receive the Gospel because they know it is true; they are convinced in their judgment that it is true; strong argument overpowers them, and they are rationally compelled to admit the Gospel to be true upon fair reasoning. They yield to it, and obey its first principles, but never seek to be enlightened by the power of the Holy Ghost; such ones frequently step out of the way (DBY, 86).

When we find fault with Church leaders, we begin to separate ourselves from the Church.

Whenever there is a disposition manifested in any of the members of this Church to question the right of the President of the whole Church to direct in all things, you see manifested evidences of apostasy—of a spirit which, if encouraged, will lead to a separation from the Church and to final destruction; wherever there is a disposition to operate against any legally appointed officer of this Kingdom, no matter in what capacity he is called to act, if persisted in, it will be followed by the same results; they will “walk after the flesh in the lust of uncleanness, and despise government. Presumptuous are they, self-willed; they are not afraid to speak evil of dignities” [see 2 Peter 2:10] (DBY, 83).

When a man begins to find fault, inquiring in regard to this, that, and the other, saying, “Does this or that look as though the Lord dictated it?” you may know that that person has more or less of the spirit of apostasy. Every man in this Kingdom, or upon the face of the earth, who is seeking with all his heart to save himself, has as much to do as he can conveniently attend to, without calling in question that which does not belong to him. If he succeeds in saving himself, it has well occupied his time and attention. See to it that you are right yourselves; see that sins and folly do not manifest themselves with the rising sun (DBY, 83).

Many imbibe [conceive] the idea that they are capable of leading out in teaching principles that never have been taught. They are not aware that the moment they give way to this hallucination the Devil has power over them to lead them onto unholy ground; though this is a lesson which they ought to have learned long ago, yet it is one that was learned by but few in the days of Joseph (DBY, 77–78).

[Such a person] will make false prophecies, yet he will do it by the spirit of prophecy; he will feel that he is a prophet and can prophesy, but he does it by another spirit and power than that which was given him of the Lord. He uses the gift as much as you and I use ours (DBY, 82).

One of the first steps to apostasy is to find fault with your Bishop; and when that is done, unless repented of a second step is soon taken, and by and by the person is cut off from the Church, and that is the end of it. Will you allow yourselves to find fault with your Bishop? (DBY, 86).

No man gets power from God to raise disturbance in any Branch of the Church. Such power is obtained from an evil source (DBY, 72).

People do, however, leave this Church, but they leave it because they get into darkness, and the very day they conclude that there should be a democratic vote, or in other words, that we should have two candidates for the presiding Priesthood in the midst of the Latter-day Saints, they conclude to be apostates. There is no such thing as confusion, division, strife, animosity, hatred, malice, or two sides to the question in the house of God; there is but one side to the question there (DBY, 85).

Those who lose the Spirit are filled with darkness and confusion.

When men lose the spirit of the work in which we are engaged, they become infidel in their feelings. They say that they do not know whether the Bible is true, whether the Book of Mormon is true, nor about new revelations, nor whether there is a God or not. When they lose the spirit of this work, they lose the knowledge of the things of God in time and in eternity; all is lost to them (DBY, 83–84).

Men begin to apostatize by taking to themselves strength, by hearkening to the whisperings of the enemy who leads them astray little by little, until they gather to themselves that which they call the wisdom of man; then they begin to depart from God, and their minds become confused (DBY, 84).

What have the Latter-day Saints got to apostatize from? Everything that there is good, pure, holy, God-like, exalting, ennobling, extending the ideas, the capacities of the intelligent beings that our Heavenly Father has brought forth upon this earth. What will they receive in exchange? I can comprehend it in a very few words. These would be the words that I should use: death, hell and the grave. That is what they will get in exchange. We may go into the particulars of that which they experience. They experience darkness, ignorance, doubt, pain, sorrow, grief, mourning, unhappiness; no person to condole [lament] within the hour of trouble, no arm to lean upon in the day of calamity, no eye to pity when they are forlorn and cast down; and I comprehend it by saying death, hell and the grave. This is what they will get in exchange for their apostasy from the Gospel of the Son of God (DBY, 85).

You have known men who, while in the Church, were active, quick and full of intelligence; but after they have left the Church, they have become contracted in their understandings, they have become darkened in their minds and everything has become a mystery to them, and in regard to the things of God, they have become like the rest of the world, who think, hope and pray that such and such things may be so, but they do not know the least about it. This is precisely the position of those who leave this Church; they go into the dark, they are not able to judge, conceive or comprehend things as they are. They are like the drunken man—he thinks that everybody is the worse for liquor but himself, and he is the only sober man in the neighborhood. The apostates think that everybody is wrong but themselves (DBY, 84).

Those who leave the Church are like a feather blown to and fro in the air. They know not whither they are going; they do not understand anything about their own existence; their faith, judgment and the operation of their minds are as unstable as the movements of the feather floating in the air. We have not anything to cling to, only faith in the Gospel (DBY, 84).

We can stand firm by living our religion and seeking the Holy Spirit.

Will there still be apostasy? Yes, brethren and sisters, you may expect that people will come into the Church and then apostatize. You may expect that some people will run well for a season, and then fall out by the way (DBY, 85–86).

Why do people apostatize? You know we are on the “Old Ship Zion.” We are in the midst of the ocean. A storm comes on, and, as sailors say, she labors very hard. “I am not going to stay here,” says one; “I don’t believe this is the ‘Ship Zion.’” “But we are in the midst of the ocean.” “I don’t care, I am not going to stay here.” Off goes the coat, and he jumps overboard. Will he not be drowned? Yes. So with those who leave this Church. It is the “Old Ship Zion,” let us stay in it (DBY, 85).

God is at the helm of this great ship, and that makes me feel good. … Let those apostatize who wish to, but God will save all who are determined to be saved (DBY, 86).

If the people would live their religion, there would be no apostasy and we would hear no complaining or fault-finding. If the people were hungry for the words of eternal life, and their whole souls even centered on the building up of the Kingdom of God, every heart and hand would be ready and willing and the work would move forward mightily and we would advance as we should do (DBY, 84).

We want to live so as to have the Spirit every day, every hour of the day, every minute of the day, and every Latter-day Saint is entitled to the Spirit of God, to the power of the Holy Ghost, to lead him in his individual duties (DBY, 82).”

Gotta love Brigham Young!

Book of Mormon Teacher Manual

Chapter 29

Introduction
This scripture block will help students fortify (Because we have to have a strong defense mechanism against all those Korihor’s in the world.) their testimonies. As they study the tactics of the anti-Christ Korihor, they will learn to recognize the tactics and philosophies of modern anti-Christs. As they study Alma’s response to Korihor, they will be prepared to defend themselves and others against those who seek to destroy their faith.

Some Doctrines and Principles
• Anti-Christs try to lead people away from God and His prophets (see Alma 30:12–18, 23–28).

• A firm testimony of Jesus Christ and His prophets helps safeguard us from personal apostasy (see Alma 30:19–22, 29–44).

• Disobedience leads to error and apostasy (see Alma 31:8–25).

• Disciples of Jesus Christ love and serve others (see Alma 31:12–38).

Suggestions for Teaching
Alma 30:12–18, 23–28. Anti-Christs Try to Lead People Away from God and His Prophets

Ask students to share some typical arguments people use to challenge faith in Jesus Christ. (Do not go into too much detail. Class members will discuss this further when you ask them to look at Korihor’s specific teachings.) As students share their thoughts, tell them that some people in Alma’s day tried to challenge those who believed in Jesus Christ. To help students understand that the Book of Mormon is a powerful resource to strengthen them against these challenges, ask them to read the statement by President Ezra Taft Benson on page 213 in the student manual.

• How can studying the Book of Mormon protect us “against the evil designs, strategies, and doctrines of the devil in our day”?

During the lesson, encourage students to look for reasons why some of Alma’s people stayed faithful while others did not. Ask them to consider how the same principles apply to us today.

Invite students to read the Bible Dictionary’s definition of the word antichrist. You may also want to refer them to the commentary on page 213 in the student manual. Briefly discuss characteristics of a person or idea that could be considered anti-Christ, emphasizing the Bible Dictionary’s broad definition: “anyone or anything that counterfeits the true gospel or plan of salvation and that openly or secretly is set up in opposition to Christ.”

• What affect can counterfeit money have on governments and individuals? (My question here is; What about counterfeit truth?)

• What does it mean to counterfeit the true gospel? (My observation here is that setting up every other “gospel” – or religious teaching or interpretation – as counterfeit is not productive. We should be talking about how to discover counterfeits – and including the possibility that elements of our own teachings may contain counterfeits as well – rather than seeking to label everyone outside of our belief system as being a counterfeit)

• What are some modern-day counterfeits that pretend to offer salvation? (As you invite students to respond to this question, do not allow any discussion that is critical of other religions. Rather, ensure that the discussion helps students recognize the dangers of false philosophies and attitudes like Korihor’s.)

Explain that today they will examine a Book of Mormon account of an anti-Christ. Invite them to turn to Alma 30:12–18, 23–28. Use the following chart (either by preparing a handout for the students or drawing the chart on the board) or have students make their own lists to identify Korihor’s false teachings. Help students compare Korihor’s tactics with those used in our day.

Discuss these verses by asking questions such as the following:
• How are Korihor’s teachings like the false teachings in our day?

• What are possible sources (such as people, institutions, or philosophies) of such false teachings today? (Hmmm? Could the corporate LDS church be one of those “institutions”?)

Explain that the first step in protecting ourselves against these teachings is to recognize them. By identifying Korihor’s teachings and tactics, we can more readily recognize their modern counterparts. Other portions of this chapter focus on ways to stay true to the restored gospel even when we face situations that try our faith.

Alma 30:19–22, 29–44. A Firm Testimony of Jesus Christ and His Prophets Helps Safeguard Us from Personal Apostasy (In other words, put on blinders to any possible wrongdoing by your own leaders because falling away should be avoided at all costs. And, if you do fall away, you will likely end up like Korihor! Don’t end up like Korihor is the message to the members of the church. Very sad.)

Ask the following question:
• Why is it difficult to respond to arguments like Korihor’s?

Explain that we can learn from the responses of the people Korihor tried to deceive. Write People of Ammon on the board. Invite students to read Alma 30:19–21 silently.

• From what you know about the Ammonites, why do you think Korihor was unable to lead them astray? (Write students’ answers on the board next to People of Ammon.)

Write Giddonah on the board. Ask students to read Alma 30:21–23, 29.

• How did Giddonah respond to Korihor’s arguments? (Write students’ answers on the board next to Giddonah.)

In connection with Alma 30:29, invite students to read the statement by the Prophet Joseph Smith on page 217 in the student manual.

• How can we tell if a person is sincerely seeking truth or just being contentious?

• In what ways can we respond to someone who is asking difficult questions but sincerely seeking the truth? In what ways can we respond to someone who is being contentious?

Write Alma on the board. Invite students to read Alma 30:30–44.

• How did Alma respond to Korihor’s arguments? (Write students’ answers on the board next to Alma.)

Alma bore strong testimony of God the Father and Jesus Christ. To emphasize the power of personal testimony, ask a student to read the statement by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland on page 217 in the student manual.

• In what ways is a personal testimony a “timeless and ultimately undeniable weapon”?

Alma was able to share his testimony so powerfully because he had worked to gain that testimony and strengthen it. To help students understand how Alma gained his testimony, divide them into four groups.

Write the following question on the board: What experiences prepared Alma to deal with Korihor and his teachings? Assign one of the following scripture blocks to each group: Mosiah 27–29; Alma 1–3; Alma 4–7; Alma 8–16. Ask the groups to search the chapter headings in their assigned scripture blocks to help them recall Alma’s experiences.

When students have had enough time to study their assigned passages, ask each group to report their answers.

• What experiences have you had that have strengthened your testimony and prepared you to defend your faith?

• What can we do to prepare as Alma did?

Invite students to read Alma 30:39, 44 silently, marking the evidences Alma gave for the existence of God: (1) the testimonies of others, (2) the scriptures, and (3) God’s creations. Then discuss each of these evidences, using some or all of the following ideas:

Testimonies of Others

Ask a student to read Doctrine and Covenants 46:13–14. Explain that the ability to believe others’ testimonies of the truth is a gift of the Spirit.

You may want to share the following statement by President HaroldB. Lee (1899–1973), the 11th President of the Church:

“Some of you may not have a testimony, and so I have said to other groups like you, if you don’t have a testimony today, why don’t you cling to mine for a little while? Hold on to our testimonies, the testimonies of your bishops, your stake presidents, until you can develop it. If you can say nothing more today than I believe because my president, or my bishop, believes, I trust him, do this until you can get a testimony for yourselves; but I warn you that won’t stay with you unless you continue to cultivate it and live the teachings” (The Teachings of Harold B. Lee, ed. Clyde J. Williams [1996], 136).

• How have other people’s testimonies strengthened your testimony?

Scriptures

Have a student read the following statement by Elder Donald L. Staheli of the Seventy:

“Personal, sincere involvement in the scriptures produces faith, hope, and solutions to our daily challenges. Frequently reading, pondering, and applying the lessons of the scriptures, combined with prayer, become an irreplaceable part of gaining and sustaining a strong, vibrant testimony” (in Conference Report, Oct. 2004, 40; or Ensign, Nov. 2004, 39).

• In what ways have the scriptures and the words of latter-day prophets strengthened your testimony?

God’s Creations

Ask a student to read the statement by President Gordon B. Hinckley on page 218 in the student manual.

• In what ways do the earth and heavens testify of God?

Alma 30:52–53. “I Always Knew That There Was a God”

Invite a student to read Alma 30:52–53. Then read the following statement by Sister Janette C. Hales, who served as Young Women general president. Ask students to listen carefully to the statement, reflecting on Korihor’s mistakes.

“Korihor is described … as an antichrist, but I’m not sure that he started out that way. Have you ever thought that possibly Korihor started out … with lots of questions? Although his questioning may have begun honestly, he made two really bad mistakes. First, he denied his faith. He denied the Light of Christ that had been given to him. Second, he started to preach false doctrine to others. Alma, his leader, bore his testimony to Korihor, and then Korihor made another mistake. Rather than listening to his leader and listening and relying on the Spirit, he defended his position with logic and became more argumentative. He demanded that he be given a sign. Korihor was given a sign. He was struck dumb. He didn’t perhaps intend for the sign to have such an effect on him personally, but often the consequences of our mistakes do affect us personally.

“Verses 52 and 53 of chapter 30 are most important, I believe. Korihor acknowledges, ‘I always knew that there was a God. But behold, the devil hath deceived me’ (Alma 30:52–53). Isn’t that interesting? ‘I always knew.’ He had the Light of Christ in him, but Satan deceived him” (“Lessons That Have Helped Me,” in Brigham Young University 1992–93 Devotional and Fireside Speeches [1993], 89).

• According to Sister Hales, what were Korihor’s mistakes?

• Why do you think someone in Korihor’s position might become defensive and argumentative rather than follow a leader’s counsel?

• Why is it unwise to become defensive and argumentative when we have questions or doubts?

Alma 31:5. The Word of God Has the Power to Help Us Improve

Have a student read the statement by President Boyd K. Packer on page 219 in the student manual.

• Why is it important to learn the doctrines of the gospel? (See D&C 84:85.)

• Why is it important to study the doctrine on our own and not to simply hear it spoken at church?

Ask a student to read Alma 31:5.

• What gives the word of God power to change our lives? (Make sure students understand that one reason the word is powerful is that it invites the Holy Spirit into our lives.)

Invite a student to read the statement by President Ezra Taft Benson on pages 219–20 in the student manual. Ask students to list the blessings President Benson described that come from studying the scriptures.

Alma 31:8–25. Disobedience Leads to Error and Apostasy

The Zoramites had been members of the Church but had “fallen into great errors” (Alma 31:9). Have the students compare the Nephites described in Alma 30:3 with the Zoramites described in Alma 31:9–10.

• In what ways does disobedience influence our testimonies?

Have students cross-reference Alma 31:9 with John 7:17.

• How does obedience influence our testimonies?

Invite students to quickly review Alma 31:1–25 and list characteristics of the Zoramites and their worship habits. (Students’ lists could include that the Zoramites said repetitious prayers, had one set place to pray, worshipped only once a week, believed that God had elected only them to be saved, were materialistic, and looked down on the poor.) Invite a few students to share their lists with the class. (You might consider drawing a parallel between the Zoramites’ actions and some of our modern-day tendencies, such as saying repetitious prayers, worshipping only once a week, feeling that we are chosen and better than others, and becoming materialistic.)

Through the following questions and discussion, help students understand that active involvement in the gospel, such as temple work, family home evening, service projects, and activities through our branches and wards, helps us stay close to the Lord. Such activities help us invite the Holy Spirit into our lives throughout the week, not just on the Sabbath. As the Spirit becomes part of our daily life, we are able to withstand the anti-Christs of our day and stay faithful to Jesus Christ.

• Alma 31:10 says that the Zoramites refused to observe the “performances of the church.” What are some “performances of the church” today? (Answers may include priesthood ordinances, opportunities to serve in the Church, family responsibilities such as family home evening, personal prayer, scripture study, and temple and family history work.)

• How do these performances help us avoid entering into temptation?

• How do these performances invite the Spirit into our lives?

• Why is the word daily in verse 10 important in our efforts to keep the Spirit in our lives? (See 2 Corinthians 4:16; Helaman 3:36. Note that since pride can “grow upon [us] day to day,” we need to be “renewed day by day.”)

Alma 31:12–38. Disciples of Jesus Christ Love and Serve Others

Alma 31 contains two prayers that are very different from each other. As students compare the Zoramites’ prayer with Alma’s prayer, they can identify the possible thoughts and beliefs that led to the prayers. Have students quickly read Alma 31:15–18 (the Zoramites’ prayer) and Alma 31:26–35 (Alma’s prayer). Ask them to share what they learn about the Zoramites and Alma from the words of these prayers. Invite two students to list these insights on the board, one student listing insights about the Zoramites and the other listing insights about Alma.

• What do you think motivated Alma to serve? (Answers might include his testimony, his love of God, and his love for other people.)

Help students understand that a testimony of Jesus Christ leads us to love and serve others. Read the following statement by Elder MarvinJ. Ashton of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (1915–1994):

“When we truly become converted to Jesus Christ, committed to Him, an interesting thing happens: our attention turns to the welfare of our fellowmen, and the way we treat others becomes increasingly filled with patience, kindness, a gentle acceptance, and a desire to play a positive role in their lives. This is the beginning of true conversion” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1992, 26; or Ensign, May 1992, 20).

• What did Alma ask because he loved the people? (See Alma 31:34–35.)

• In what ways can we apply Alma’s example in our lives?

New Testament:
1 Timothy 4: 1-3

1 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;

2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;

3 Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.

2 Timothy 3: 1-7

Header: Paul describes the apostasy and perilous times of the last days—The scriptures guide man to salvation.

1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,

7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

2 Timothy 4: 3-4

3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;

4 And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.

Ensign Feb. 1979

A House Divided: The John Johnson Family

By Keith Perkins

“…Three months later the Twelve Apostles left on missions, departing from John Johnson’s inn in Kirtland. As members of the Twelve, Luke, Lyman, and Orson spent much of their time on missions, bringing many into the Church. But the seed of apostasy was sprouting in Kirtland. The Lord had said that where one’s treasure is, there would his heart be also (Luke 12:34); sadly, many who had once given liberally of their means to build up the kingdom began to seek for personal wealth. Many who had once defended the Prophet now became his accusers. This spirit affected almost all of the Johnson family, including son-in-law Orson Hyde.

Both Luke and Lyman accused Joseph Smith of speaking disrespectfully of and to members of the Church. (See statements of Lyman E. Johnson, Orson Pratt, and Luke Johnson, 29 May 1837, Whitney Collection, Brigham Young University Special Collections Library, box 2, fd. 1.) On one occasion during the passing of the sacrament in the Kirtland Temple, Lyman stood and cursed the Prophet, who was on the stand. When the bread was passed to him “he reached out his hand for a piece of bread and flung it into his mouth like a mad dog.” His face turned black “with rage and with the power of the devil.” (Millennial Star, 57:340) Joseph Smith later pinpointed such faultfinding with the Church leadership as the cause of apostasy.

Affairs in Kirtland continued to worsen. Luke Johnson and other dissidents organized for the overthrow of the Church, claiming they were the “old standard,” and calling themselves the “Church of Christ.” Luke described those dark days: “Having partaken of the spirit of speculation, which at that time was possessed by many of the saints and Elders, my mind became darkened, and I was left to pursue my own course. I lost the spirit of God, and neglected my duty.” (“History of Luke Johnson by Himself,” Archives of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, p. 7)

Father John Johnson was also affected by this apostasy and was dropped from the high council and excommunicated. (See History of the Church, 2:510 and The Historical Record, Andrew Jenson, ed, and pub., vol. 5, Salt Lake City, 1889, p. 32.)

It is both sad and inspiring to follow the lives of Lyman and Luke Johnson and of Orson and Marinda Johnson Hyde and to see the effect that apostasy and, in turn, personal righteousness had on their lives.

Upon being ordained the first apostle in this dispensation, Lyman received a powerful blessing. He was told that his faith would be like Enoch’s and that he would “be called great among all the living; and Satan shall tremble before him.” (History of the Church, 2:188) Yet in only three years his obedience and his faith had failed, and Satan, rather than trembling before him, had conquered him. (Apostates are conquered by Satan)

After apostatizing, Lyman remained friendly to his former associates, making occasional visits to Nauvoo. On one such visit he related his present feelings, as reported by Brigham Young:

“If I could believe ‘Mormonism’ as I did when I traveled with you and preached, if I possessed the world I would give it. I would give anything, I would suffer my right hand to be cut off, if I could believe it again. Then I was full of joy and gladness. My dreams were pleasant. When I awoke in the morning my spirit was cheerful. I was happy by day and by night, full of peace and joy and thanksgiving. But now it is darkness, pain, sorrow, misery in the extreme. I have never since seen a happy moment.” (Journal of Discourses, 19:41) (Also from this reference: “Lyman E. Johnson belonged to the Quorum of the Twelve; he was the first man called when the Twelve were called; his name was first, Brigham Young’s second, and Heber C. Kimball’s third. The testimony that he gave of his bitter experience is the testimony that every apostate would give if they would tell the truth. But will they acknowledge it? No, because they do not want to tell the truth.”)

It is little wonder his death was tragic. According to Wilford Woodruff, “he did not go and hang himself [like Judas], but he did go and drown himself, and the river went over his body while his spirit was cast into the pit, where he ceased to have the power to curse either God or His Prophet in time or in eternity.” (Millennial Star, 57:340; see also Andrew Jenson, Latter-Day Saint Biographical Encyclopedia, Vol. 1, Salt Lake City: The Andrew Jenson History Co., 1901, p. 92.)

As Lyman’s brother Luke was ordained and set apart as a member of the Twelve, he was promised that if he were cast into prison he would be a comfort to the hearts of his comrades. (See History of the Church, 2:190.) In three years, however, he was an apostate. But his blessing still came about: he was a comfort to the hearts of his comrades in prison, but as a constable instead of as a fellow prisoner. Remaining friendly to the Church, he assisted the Prophet to legally escape from those who were pressing him with lawsuits. (See “History of Luke Johnson by Himself,” Church Archives, p. 6.)

Luke was also able to help Joseph Smith, Sr., to escape imprisonment on charges “instigated through malice.” Luke took Father Smith to court for trial, but since the court was not ready to convene, he took him into an adjoining room to wait. While in the room, Luke removed a nail which secured the window, and then left, locking the door behind him. Back in the courtroom, he started telling funny stories so laughter would cover Father Smith’s escape. When the prisoner was called by the court, Luke entered the room where Father Smith had been kept, replaced the nail in the window, and came out reporting the escape of the prisoner. Members of the court rushed in. Upon finding the window fastened, they declared it another Mormon miracle.

Luke met Eliza R. Snow the following day and asked her how his escaped prisoner was faring at the Snow house. He then commented, “Father Smith will bless me for it, all the days of his life.” Upon returning home, Eliza repeated Luke’s words to Patriarch Smith, who affirmed the truth of the statement. (See “History of Luke Johnson by Himself,” Church Archives, pp. 6–7, and Eliza R. Snow Smith, Biography and Family Record of Lorenzo Snow, Salt Lake City: Deseret News Co., 1884, pp. 22–24.)

But Luke did not die an apostate like his brother Lyman did. Before the Saints left Nauvoo, he rose and spoke to an assembled group, telling of his apostasy, but declaring that his heart was with the Saints and that now he wanted to “go with them into the wilderness, and continue with them to the end.” His brother-in-law, Orson Hyde, rebaptized him. (See Manuscript History of Brigham Young, 1846–47. Elden Jay Watson, ed. and pub., Salt Lake City, 1971, p. 72.) Luke then went back to Kirtland to pick tip his family.

Luke’s newly-restored faith was tried by fire as he started West with his family. His wife, Susan Poteet, died as they traveled to Council Bluffs. After burying her in St. Joseph, Missouri, Luke continued on with his six motherless children. The Church leaders seemed to feel concern that this trial might be too much for the newly rebaptized Luke; however, it was recorded that he was “yet apparently feeling well and enjoying himself.” (Watson, p. 494)

On his arrival in Council Bluffs, Luke was comforted by a poem written for him by Eliza R. Snow, his neighbor for many years in Ohio, which in part read:

Mourn not o’er your long-beloved Susan,

Love her still—she’s gone above,

To fulfil a heavenly mission,

To perform a work of love.

(A History of Clover, Centennial Year, 1856–1956, rev. ed., Tooele, Utah: Transcript-Bulletin, 1960, p. 41)

At Council Bluffs, Luke married America M. Clark, by whom he had eight children. Selected as captain of ten men in the original pioneer company, he had to leave his family at Council Bluffs while he found a home for them in the valley of the Great Salt Lake. When his first trek was over, he returned to Council Bluffs to get his family, and together they reached Utah in 1853, settling in Rush Valley, near Tooele, Utah, in 1856.

He was appointed by Wilford Woodruff to be the first presiding elder over the little Utah settlement which later was called Clover, Utah. Luke also served as the first and only probate judge of Shambip [Rush] County, now a part of Tooele County, and he became a friend of the Indians. He was the first doctor in the area, and his wife, America, served as midwife. He served faithfully both his Church and community until his death at the home of his brother-in-law Orson Hyde in Salt Lake City in 1861.

Luke’s family has continued to serve the little town of Clover. His son, Orson A. Johnson, served as a counselor to three bishops. A grandson, Edwin H. Johnson, served as a ward clerk to two bishops, and three great-grandsons, Merlin M. Johnson, Joseph William Russell, Jr., and Orson Albert Johnson, have all served as bishops of the Clover Ward. Merlin M. Johnson also served as a county commissioner for Tooele County.

Records aren’t complete concerning the fate of all the members of the Johnson family, but much mention is made of Marinda Johnson and her husband, Orson Hyde. During the Kirtland days, Orson became temporarily sympathetic with the apostate faction, but within a very short time, he had repented and returned to the Church. He walked into a meeting where Heber C. Kimball was being set apart to open England to the preaching of the gospel and to preside over the mission. Overwhelmed by the words of the blessing, Orson asked for forgiveness and for permission to accompany Heber to England as a missionary. His repentance was accepted, and he too was set apart. (See History of the Church, 2:489–90.)

When Orson left for England, Marinda was left with a three-week-old baby. Many years later, it was said of her that she experienced “what so many ‘Mormon’ women have since felt, the cares and anxieties of the wife and mother when the husband is on a mission in a foreign land, and the sustaining influence of the Holy Spirit that enabled her to bear cheerfully—even happily—the many scenes of hardship and persecution that all the old members of the Church have endured.” (Journal History, 24 Mar. 1886, p. 3) This was one of many times Marinda was asked to wait for her husband as he traveled the globe in Church service.

Marinda was the only one of the Johnson family known to have moved to Nauvoo. There she experienced joy in living the gospel and sorrow as she bade farewell to her husband on his frequent missions for the Church. Undoubtedly one of her greatest trials came when Orson fulfilled a mission to Palestine, traveling approximately twenty thousand miles. In his dedicatory prayer on the Mount of Olives he particularly remembered his family at home:

“Though Thy servant is now far from his home … yet he remembers, O Lord, his … family, whom for Thy sake he has left … The hands that have fed, clothed, or shown favor unto the family of Thy servant in his absence, or that shall hereafter do so, let them not lose their reward, but let a special blessing rest upon them, and in Thy kingdom let them have an inheritance when Thou shalt come to be glorified in this society.” (History of the Church, 4:458)

This prayer was heard, and the answer given only nine days later in a revelation to the Prophet Joseph. The Lord instructed Joseph Smith that Marinda should have a better place to live, “in order that her life may be spared.” Joseph was further directed to importune the Ebenezer Robinson family to provide for her and her children until Orson returned from his mission. The Robinsons were promised that as they provided for Marinda ungrudgingly, she would be a blessing to them. Finally, Marinda was charged to follow the living prophet “in all things whatsoever he shall teach unto her,” and promised that this would prove to be a blessing to her. (History of the Church, 4:467.) (Not mentioned in this article is that Marinda was married to Joseph Smith in April 1842. This is what Joseph meant when he charged Marinda to “follow the prophet”.)

Marinda experienced the anguish of being driven from her home again as the Saints left Nauvoo. Her sorrow was offset somewhat by the joy of being one of the first to receive her endowment in the Nauvoo Temple. Another cause for great rejoicing before leaving Nauvoo was the return of her prodigal brother, Luke, to the Church.

Orson and Marinda Hyde lived at Council Bluffs until 1852, with Orson presiding over the Church there. During that time, Marinda received a letter from Sarah M. Kimball, a dear friend in Nauvoo:

“Nothing affords me more pleasure than to be assured that I am not forgotten by one whom I so dearly love as yourself. I was sorry to hear that yr [your] family have been sick dear Sister H. You must have had yr heart & hands full but you say, you had strength given according to yr day, inasmuch as you have not been overcome it is all right for your husband said when here that we must overcome all things in order to become pillars in the Temple of God. (Sarah M. Kimball to Marinda Hyde, dated 2 Jan. 1848, Church Archives.)

Much of Marinda is revealed in this letter: her suffering, her patience in affliction, and her faithfulness to the kingdom.

Like her brother Luke, Marinda Johnson Hyde made a lasting contribution in the establishment of Utah. After coming to Utah in 1852, she and her husband settled in the Seventeenth Ward. In 1868 she became the ward’s Relief Society president, serving in that position until her death. She also was a member of the board of directors of the Deseret Hospital in Salt Lake. She sought the rights of Mormon women at a time when much of the nation was attempting to destroy the rights of all Latter-day Saints and was selected as a member of a committee which drafted a resolution against some of the vicious antipolygamy legislation being considered in Congress. (See Millennial Star, vol. 32, p. 113.) She also was one of fourteen women who drafted a resolution thanking the acting governor of Utah, S. A. Mann, for signing the act that gave the women in Utah the right to vote, the second such act in the United States.

(See Journal History, 19 Feb. 1870, p. 4; also see Russell R. Rich, Ensign to the Nations, Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University Publications, 1972, pp. 372–73. Utah women were, the first to vote but the second to get the franchise.)

The year before her death, Marinda was honored on her seventieth birthday as being one of the oldest living members of the Church, having been baptized in 1831. She died 23 March 1886 in Salt Lake City. Her husband, Orson, had died previously on 28 November 1878.

Marinda’s death ended the earthly career of the original John Johnson family, a family who left a lasting impression on the Church and all those who knew them. Like Lehi’s family, their disobedience resulted in unhappiness and tragedy, and their faithfulness resulted in the blessings and happiness of the gospel.”

Just to sum up. If you leave the church, not only have you lost the faith and the spirit, you are; unhappy, ignorant, lost, contentious, fallen, sorrowful, overcome by evil, counterfeit, sad, unsuccessful in life, vicious, disobedient and your life will end in tragedy. Those poor souls. They don’t realize what they are doing to their loved one’s by labeling them so and insisting they know, better than others do, what their lives are like. Thanks for reading this entire post (if you made it)! I know it is a long one, but I wanted to have a pretty comprehensive summary from LDS.org sources of how members of the church are taught to feel about those that leave. Good luck out there in the world of personal apostasy…if that is your place…apparently you will need it!

Cross-posted from my blog Facsimilogos.

Within the ex-Mormon community…or at least, the ex-Mormon community as it thrives online, on websites, blogs throughout Outer Blogness, forums, etc., there seems to be this common exit narrative. (Daymon Smith has a post deconstructing the synthesis of this new identity, but I couldn’t decipher his blog post well enough to summarize the findings for you.) Here’s my attempt at a summary: We were (collectively or generally speaking) righteous, serious folk, who lived our religion to the best we could. Mormonism, at least for many of us, was a sweater made especially for us, handed down in many cases from generation to generation, across miles that our pioneer ancestors trekked. And even if we were converts, we dived into it fully.

We were proud of the snugness of Mormonism, and many times proud as well of this homemade sweater that was so distinct from what most others in the world were wearing. Maybe others were draped in inferior materials. Maybe others had good material but poor handiwork. Maybe they lacked the guidance, the ultimate revealed truth that we had to weaving it all together.

But no matter. We, as those who bore the truth, would share it with others, so they could bear it too. And so we did.

But then, one day, under some circumstance or another, we stumbled upon a loose strand. It was something out of order in perfection, and so we sought to pull out that loose strand to restore our previous perfection. But following that loose strand, we could not find solace. For instead of finding the end to the strand, we perpetuated the end to our sweater. In the end, with our once-snug sweater unraveled all around us, we found ourselves cold, naked, and vulnerable.

What was the sweater? And what was its doom? …Well, that’s the content of the typical ex-Mormon narrative. The sweater was a religious truth that we felt we had: the truth that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was the one true church on the face of the earth, the only one with all the authority and priesthood keys to truly act in God’s name, and the only one with modern-day prophets, seers, and revelators to guide us through a depraved world.

What unraveled the sweater is nearly always described as being doubts to Mormon truth claims, skepticism of Mormon historicity, loss of faith in the hard underpinnings of the religion. As John Larsen summarized why Mormons leave the church (a briefer video than John Dehlin’s own attempt at the same subject, to be sure):

Why Mormons Leave (wmv — but short)

And naturally, that’s what Open Stories Foundation’s survey of Why Mormons Leave the church found as well. From that survey, here were the top selected factors for why people lose faith

• I lost faith in Joseph Smith
• I studied church history and lost my belief
• I ceased to believe in the church’s doctrine/theology
• I lost faith in the Book of Mormon

These stated reasons have been challenged from all sides. As mentioned before, Daymon Smith deconstructs the selection of “factors” for the survey. The heavy intellectual or rational slant of many of these reasons leads some liberal, nuanced believing members in the church to chide that disaffected members believed too much and that led to their faith crisis.

But it’s not just intellectual, about believing in a more orthodox manner than everyone else and then having that fall apart. As I mentioned before, ex-Mormons often also are ones who care about being righteous. As chanson linked to a couple of articles in the Sunday in Outer Blogness before last, part of the reason why some of the “I’m a Mormon” videos are so frustrating is because our experience is of seeing the emphasis on being perfect.

On that subject, I recently got a  comment on my blog from John G-W, who later expounded his thoughts on his blog, Young Stranger:

…if you listen to stories like those of the McLays, I think the evidence also clearly supports that the problem lies not in some sort of conspiracy of the Church leadership, but in Mormon popular culture. If you listen carefully to some of these stories, one of the things you realize is that a major part of the problem lies in how the disaffected believer him or herself projected certain perfectionistic ideals both on him/herself and on the Church… They struggle mightily to make everything (including themselves) fit with these perfectionistic ideals, and when they can’t (of course they can’t!!!!) everything comes crashing down like a house of cards.

My first thought would be to say that this perfectionism or cult of false expectations or whatever is more than just in Mormon “popular culture.” But more substantially, regardless of whether it’s institutionally or (merely) cultural, my more substantial point would be that it’s not just the disaffected believer “projecting” these ideals, and as a result, unrealistic expectations are EVERY Mormon’s problem.

In these surveys (and in most discussions with disaffected Mormons), the narrative usually sticks closely to these objective, fact-based reasons. When people try to suggest reasons more…emotional…everyone is quick to decry those claims. We didn’t leave because we were offended. We didn’t leave to sin. Just (about) the facts, ma’am.

But what’s so wrong with these emotional reasons?

Leaving to Sin

The problem with the trope of ex-Mormons “leaving to sin” is ultimately in the viewpoint that this idea takes…it assumes that the Mormon viewpoint (of morality and of sins) is the correct viewpoint to take. But why couldn’t we say that a big part of many people’s disaffections is coming to re-evaluate and redetermine their moralities? Instead of letting the question be begged and denying that sin had anything to do with it, shouldn’t we eventually be trying to argue that we find certain points on LDS morality illegitimate?

I’ll just throw it out there: I find the LDS moral stance on homosexuality to be incorrect. I would suspect that many people who disaffect from the church eventually come to this position (at least, the secular, agnostic/atheist disaffected Mormons probably aren’t all socially conservative anymore…)

Proposition 8 was a big event for me, as I’ve seen it mentioned as a big event for many people who ultimately disaffected from or completely left the church. And this is the case even though I don’t live in California, and neither do many of the people who mention it as a critical factor. For me personally, Proposition 8 awakened me to a particular realization: even if I admired some of the church’s secular traits (e.g., its capacity to prepare people for leadership, management, professionalism, public speaking, etc.,) ultimately, if I don’t agree with its spiritual claims, then all of that organizational acumen would be counterproductive — used for causes with which I disagree.

But in any case, whenever any gay member disaffects from the church and re-evaluates the acceptability of pursuing love and commitment…I don’t think we should be content to play with the “left to sin” rhetoric…we need to find a way to reclaim morality and say that that idea of sin is bankrupt.

Leaving to Offense

This naturally spills over into the next item that people often want to run away from…the idea of being offended. I know it’s trendy for people with privilege to claim that marginalized people are “oversensitive”, but we need to challenge the underlying premise as well: why are we trying to be completely unemotional? What’s wrong with being offended at things that are truly and personally offensive?

I think the reason that people don’t want to own up to being offended is because there are so many tropes of being offended over just the smallest thing…Oh, he was offended because his name was misspelled? Because he didn’t get the milk fat? Or whatever.

But here’s the thing: we don’t need to tolerate our problems being minimized and discounted like to these non sequitur type issues.

Another look at the sweater analogy

Earlier, I described that the sweater seemed to be a snug, comfortable fit for most of us…the problem was that it just came unraveled, leaving us with no foundation, no comfort. But Kiley provided a different look at the Mormonism sweater approach (HT to chanson from the latest Sunday in Outer Blogness for bringing this to my attention):

Having time to dwell on it a bit over the last few days I feel like I have recaptured it. My conclusion… The world inside of Mormonism was shallow and small… Ill-fitting like a sweater that had shrunk too much and chokes you at the neck every time you twist or turn in a funny way… Yep Mormonism was a choky sweater… Scratchy too.

In my church days I was a very binary thinker. I was completely consumed by and fixated on ideas of “right”, “worthy” and “perfect”. The church slogan “choose the right” was really all that I needed… Salvation, happiness, and immortality all came from choosing the right. It was so simple. The “right” way was to do what the church taught me to do. The “wrong” way was to stray from what the church taught.

This sort of world view meant that there was no room for error, patience, growth, or mistakes. Mistakes and errors induced so much guilt that growing from them and learning lessons from them was nearly impossible. The guilt was debilitating. Not to mention that my idea of “mistakes” or “errors” was very flawed too.

…Ultimately, I recognize that the two reasons don’t have to be at odds. Rather, they may have a sequential nature or a compounding nature. What probably allowed many of us to reconsider morality, start walking away from and working past guilt was our discoveries about history, about doctrine, etc., In fact, I’ve heard exactly that narrative from so many people as well: that even though they felt terribly in the church, they stuck with it for so long because, well, that was the truth for them. It was only when they came to believe otherwise that they could free themselves up in other ways.

I spent years worrying about what people would think if I finished and published my memoir, Hippie Boy: A Girl’s Story.

I didn’t want to hurt anyone, particularly my mom, a devout Mormon who credits the LDS Church with saving her life. And yet it was her obsession and absolute devotion to Church doctrine that nearly destroyed mine.

It wasn’t until last May, when I was invited to share my story of oppression and abuse of power within the Church on Mormon Expression, that I understood the power of sharing my story. I heard from dozens of people, mostly women, who talked about similar experiences and told me how much my story had resonated with them.

That’s when I realized that by sharing my story— which is ultimately about learning that I had the power within me to overcome my challenges and claim the life I wanted for myself — I could help others find their voice. By the time I published Hippie Boy in October, I knew I wanted to work with at-risk women and teens. I envisioned using Hippie Boy as a tool to encourage them to face their challenges by finding their voice and claiming their inner power. I wasn’t sure what form it would take. I just knew it was a message I wanted to get out into the universe.

Then, in early December, I was contacted by Marjie Bowker, an English teacher at an alternative high school in a suburb outside of Seattle. She told me our mutual friend had given her my book to read. Her next words were an early Christmas gift to me.

“Hippie Boy is the book I’ve always wanted for my students,” she said. “Do you want to form an author partnership?”

Neither of us understood what an author partnership even meant. But we both knew we wanted to figure it out. So on a whim, we started brainstorming and Marjie was soon crafting a curriculum that focuses on using Hippie Boy as a guide to help her students share their own stories in a narrative format.

Our month-long curriculum kicked off January 4th. And magic has been happening ever since. These juniors and seniors, more than forty in all, have experienced the kind of heartache and tragedy that most of us can’t even fathom. They’ve experienced gang life and drug overdoses, and have lost loved ones to prison, suicide and cancer. Some have been shuffled from house to house without ever having a safe place to call home. Some have been battered and abused and neglected. A few have resorted to stealing food because they didn’t have enough to eat.

These students have every right to be angry and hardened. Instead, they are some of the most compassionate people I’ve ever met. And they are STRONG. I felt a connection with them the first day I met them. They are me when I was their age and thanks to the power of story, we share a common understanding. Using Hippie Boy and the writing exercises Marjie crafted for them as their guide, they spent the month working to bring their own stories to life and, in the process, they have found their voice and are taking back their power. On February 1st, we hosted a celebration and all-day reading so the students could share their life scenes. Their stories were mind-blowing. And they were so charged up by the power they had found within themselves that nine of them stayed after school for nearly three hours to share their stories with a producer from our local public radio station.

We’ve hit on something powerful and have made such a connection that I’m working with these students again later this spring—when we plan to publish their life stories in an eBook that will carry their powerful words out into the universe. The experience has been a huge gift and has taught me an incredible life-changing lesson: No matter what challenges you face, you can overcome them if you claim your power, find your voice, and shout it to the universe.

If you want to learn more about the writing program with these teens, click on this story by the Herald Weekly. And if you are interested reading Hippie Boy, it’s free TODAY ONLY as an eBook on Amazon. 

Invictus Pilgrim formerly blogged at invictuspilgrim.blogspot.com. For personal reasons, he has taken that blog private and has started at new blog at mohosapiens.blogspot.com. The following was his initial post on his new blog.

A little over 15 months ago, I was prompted (not in the Mormon sense, but in the common-usage sense) to start blogging about what I was going through. A few weeks before, I had been blasted out of the closet upon hearing a talk which soon became infamous that was delivered by the President of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles – the second most-senior apostle, the man who was and is a heart beat away from becoming the “Lord’s mouthpiece on the earth.”

During the course of the next 13 months, I blogged extensively about my thoughts and experiences as a gay man who had finally come to terms with his true identity after over 20 years of marriage and activity in the LDS Church.

Two months ago, I reached a decision to take that blog private and to take a break from blogging. Like other men who were (closeted) gay, married and Mormon and who blogged about their coming out experience, I reached a point where I wondered whether there was anything left to write. Furthermore, I am definitely not the same man I was when I began my blog in October 2010, and my life is very different today than it was a year ago and even six months ago. My head, so to speak, is in a very different place.

I debated for a time whether to revive my former blog. Frankly, I didn’t know whether I wanted to bother with it anymore. But when I read what Elder Packer recently said during a broadcast which two of my children probably saw, I decided the time had come to “take up my pen.” I do so, however, in a new blog, having ultimately reached the decision to permanently close my former blog.

I don’t claim to have anything earth-shattering to say about Elder Packer’s seminary address; others have written eloquently about what was said that night. But I wanted to add my voice to theirs and share a few thoughts about the following passage from Packer’s talk:

“We know that gender was set in the pre-mortal world. The spirit and the body are the soul of man. The matter of gender is of great concern to the brethren, as are all matters of morality. A few of you may have felt, or have been told that you were born with troubled feelings and you’re not guilty if you act upon these temptations. Doctrinally, we know that if that were true, your agency would have been erased. And that cannot happen. You always have a choice to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost and live morally pure and chaste, one filled with virtue.”

Points to ponder:

“ Gender was set in the pre-mortal world.”

As I recently tried to explain to someone who knew absolutely nothing about Mormonism, Mormons believe that we humans are made up of an immortal spirit housed in a mortal body. This spirit is the offspring of deity and has existed for countless ages with a gender, either female or male. What President Packer believes but doesn’t explicitly state is that gender and sexual orientation are basically one and the same, i.e., male (gender) = wants to love and have sex with females (sexual orientation). He apparently cannot conceive of this equation: male (gender) = wants to love and have sex with males (sexual orientation). Because of this unspoken belief, he believes that we were programmed as heterosexuals in the pre-mortal world and that homosexuality in this mortal world is an aberration that defies logic and Heavenly Father’s plan for his children. Thus, the infamous line, “Why would Heavenly Father do that?”

“The matter of gender is of great concern to the brethren, as are all matters of morality.”

Gender is a moral issue? This is where we really start to get into what I call “Boyd-Speak.” Elder Packer doesn’t come right out and say that believing yourself to be gay is immoral, but he certainly implies it. He’s doing here the same thing he did in the October 2010 conference address. He couches his language in innocuous-sounding words and phrases that most (straight) members of the Church believe to be perfectly defensible (“he was talking about pornography, not homosexuality”), while sending a message straight to the hearts (like a dagger) to gay members of the Church.

“A few of you may have felt, or have been told that you were born with troubled feelings …”

This phrase reminds me of Elder Packer’s infamous 1978 BYU multi-stake fireside, “To the One,” in which he devoted an entire address to speaking “to the one” among 100 who might be suffering from “troubled feelings” of homosexuality. As if a young man or woman wouldn’t feel isolated enough, he’s going to make sure they and others know that only a tiny minority of Church members is plagued by such “troubled feelings.”

And just in case you believe the “propaganda” that you were “born” with the inclination to be homosexual, Packer’s belief and thinly-veiled assertion is that such beliefs are hogwash, pure and simple.

“Troubled feelings.” I think this is the segue to NARTH and the unspoken invitation to see a good reparative therapist.

“ … troubled feelings … act upon these temptations.”

Notice again the Boyd-Speak. Is he saying that if you have “troubled feelings” that you may be gay (a) you are suffering from a temptation to actually believe that you’re gay, or (b) that you will automatically suffer from temptations to go have sex with a guy (or gal, as the case may be)? I think he’s saying both – at least this is the message that I believe all the gay kids suffering from “troubled feelings” will hear him say. Both assertions are, of course, unfounded, unsound and just plain ridiculous. But he will have made his point through nuanced language that camouflages his message.

“Doctrinally, we know that if that were true, your agency would have been erased.”

What exactly is he saying here? The impression is given that he’s saying that if you’re born with “troubled feelings” you automatically feel that you have to “act” upon those feelings. He seems to be saying that this is where agency gets erased. That if you’re born gay, you have to have sex, and that you can justify it by saying that you were “born that way.”

Are you kind of getting a whiff of a stereotype of gays as sex-crazed animals who only care about sex? If you haven’t already smelled it, this is born out by his next sentence: “You always have a choice to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost and live morally pure and chaste, one filled with virtue.”

Another alternative interpretation that is perfectly plausible, given his personal beliefs, is that he’s saying that it would be a violation of agency for you to have innate, authentic feelings of attraction to persons of the same sex. In his view, this would be a violation of “agency” because he believes that such feelings are a choice, not innate.

Which brings me to my final point.

“You always have a choice to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost and live morally pure and chaste, one filled with virtue”

The unspoken, Boyd-Speak, message is that one cannot have even feelings of attraction toward persons of one’s own gender and be “morally pure and chaste,” and certainly not “filled with virtue.” This line is reminiscent of his October 2010 line in which he labeled such feelings “impure and unnatural.” The message to young members of the Church is clear.

So why do I bother blogging about this? Because I know that Packer’s words influence impressionable young men and women in the Church. And that impression is negative. They drive like daggers into the hearts of souls of all those youth who “struggle” with “troubled feelings”, and they put arrows into the quivers of ignorance, self-righteousness, intolerance and bigotry that other youth in the Church, along with their parents and leaders, carry around with them. I feel a personal obligation to not let those words go unchallenged.

To be clear, I am not saying that Elder Packer doesn’t have the right to preach about the law of chastity. Obviously, this is a key teaching of the Church. But it could hardly be said that he reached out (in his seminary address) with love, compassion and understanding to young members of the Church struggling with feelings of same-gender attraction, which both hurts these youth and enables the un-Christlike attitudes of other members of the Church toward homosexuality.

Since McKay Coppins reported about the Romney campaign’s efforts to energize the South Carolina primaries with volunteers from out of state Mormon colleges, which has been linked by Profxm, I thought that a quick note to put the event into context might be in order.

Every campaign is trying to swell its volunteer force by bringing in people from out of state. When I was the co-director of the Obama campaign in Prince George’s Coutny, MD, for example, we depoyed over 3,000 volunteers to Virginia for the general election campaign in 2008 after helping out in various states during the primaries.

BYU and Bob Jones University are notorious for supplying volunteers to Republican campaigns across the nation. In part, their prominence may reflect Democratic paranoia but the real reason is obvious:

There aren’t that many places with a high concentration of conservative young people with disposable time to volunteer.

In this case, it’s an easy story to tell because the Mormon Mitt Romney receives help from Mormon college students. In reality, however, BYU volunteers routinely come in support of conservative gentile candidates in states like Virginia and California. Likewise, you can be sure that somewhere in Florida, there will be busloads of student volunteers from Bob Jones University supporting this or that candidate.

Since they won’t be Mormons campaigning for a Mormon, the media will be less sensitive to their appearance.

Can’t believe someone didn’t think of it sooner: a pop song about rivalry between sister wives. 

Here’s the direct link.

We were poor when I was growing up. So poor that we depended on free lunches at school, WIC food vouchers from the government, and occasional trips to the Church welfare office to eat.

But our daily struggle to survive didn’t keep my mom from stockpiling food in preparation for the end of the world, which we –like most of the other Mormon families we knew — believed was to occur around the year 2000, give or take a few years.

“A bushel of wheat will be worth a barrel of gold when the Second Coming nears,” my mom would say as she stocked up on five-gallon containers of freeze-dried space food she purchased from a survival store in our small Northern Utah town. Our cellar shelves were packed with tins of Spam, cans of tomato paste, and bags of pasta and rice. They also held hundreds of home-bottled jars of fruits and vegetables. Lining the walls were three giant aluminum trash cans– like the one Oscar the Grouch lived in on Sesame Street — which housed our bags of whole wheat and powdered milk. We collected plastic milk containers, filled them with tap water, and lugged them down our splintered wooden steps to ensure we had plenty of water to get us by. And to keep our food supply going, Mom dug up our entire half-acre back yard and turned it into a garden.

We spent endless summer days weeding, watering and harvesting vegetables. When we weren’t doing that, it felt like every free moment was devoted to peeling, slicing, and bottling peaches, apricots, beans, carrots, beets and anything else we could get our hands on.

To keep us motivated, Mom talked about the last days. She said our Mormon-dominated valley would be covered in tents because the gentiles (non-believers) would descend on us for food. We would feed them, of course. But we also needed to save enough for our 1,500 mile trek to Jackson County, Missouri. That’s where we believed the Garden of Eden once stood and where the Second Coming would occur. Mom said we had to walk because the cost of oil would be through the roof — if oil was available at all — making fuel impossible to acquire.

By the time I was eight, I was so obsessed with the end of the world that I lay in bed at night calculating how much time I had left. If the world ended in the year 2000, which was the year my mom always referenced, I had only until age thirty-three. My gut ached at the unfairness of it all. I didn’t worry about food. We had that covered. I worried about getting cheated out of my time on earth. I suffered full-on panic attacks trying to think through how I would possibly have enough time to enjoy life (sin), and still have adequate time left over to repent and be saved when we finally made it to Jackson County.

I left the Mormon religion soon after leaving home and refused to have anything to do with the Church — including preparedness. Planting a garden, however small, was out of the question. Just the thought of stepping foot inside of a Costco made me want to throw up. I got into the habit of shopping daily for the food I needed for that evening and the following morning.

I spent so much time stressing over the future as a child that once I reached adulthood, I had enough and vowed to focus on the present. But given the recent uprisings in the Arab world, the ongoing economic crisis, and the devastating tsunamis, earthquakes and tornados wreaking havoc across the globe, I’m starting to rethink my position.

What if my mom is right? What if the world really is headed for one big, catastrophic collapse? Even the Mayan calendar ends in 2012. Shouldn’t my husband and I be a little prepared?

We do have what my mom has sent us in the surprise UPS packages that occasionally show up at our door – tin foil space blankets, hand crank flashlights, a five-pound bag of hot chocolate mix and a ten-pound bag of instant potatoes. But at the moment, we don’t have enough water stored to make the hot chocolate or instant mashed potatoes – let alone keep us from dying of dehydration.

A friend and I have talked about the need for a wine and preparation evening that involves stuffing personal backpacks with an emergency kit, a three-day food supply and a little cash. I’m even working up the resolve to give Costco a try. But if things get really bad, I’m grateful to have a Mormon mom who loves me despite our opposing views on religion.

I’m certain my mom didn’t have me in mind when she talked about gentiles descending on our valley. But if I can find a way to get my family and friends from Seattle, where I now live, to her house in Northern Utah, I know she’ll welcome us with open arms.

I also know there will be a whole cellar stuffed with food and water waiting for us.

I found this open letter on Facebook. It is a courageous and inspiring effort to protect our gay children and neighbors in the BYU community. Since it is doubtful that the Daily Universe will publish it, I am taking the liberty to disseminate it on Main Street Plaza. It might be a good idea, if you share it on your own pages and blogs as well, not because you or I agree with it 100% but because it is a thoughtful contribution that deserves consideration.

We of the BYU community who are sympathetic to our homosexual brothers and sisters were extremely hurt by the ignorant articles in the Daily Universe comparing homosexuals to prostitutes and serial killers. Gay students are in every classroom, every ward, and every apartment complex at BYU and we want to reach out in love to help you better understand.

-Utah leads the nation in youth suicides and teen homelessness, a large number of which are gay youth. (Utah Suicide Stats Alarming, Salt Lake Tribune, 2007)

-Gay youth who are rejected by family or peers are 8 times more likely to commit suicide, 6 times as likely to be depressed, and 3 times as likely to use illegal drugs and engage in unsafe social behavior. (Ryan, Huebner, Diaz, & Sanchez. 2009. Pediatrics)

Attempts to “love the sinner and hate the sin” more often than not come across as rejection, hate, and hostility. The hostility directed toward anonymous populations instead spiritually wounds your brothers and sisters all around you. If you don’t think you know a gay person, you’re wrong. They just don’t trust you enough to tell you.

The attitude and environment at BYU represented by those articles creates and reopens wounds that the Son of God Himself died to heal. Gay members of the church struggle under the burden of self-loathing encouraged by a culture that inadvertently teaches that those attracted to the same sex are not worthy of God’s love. Only through much pain and the mercy of Jesus Christ are those wounds healed. And it is not your place to undo what He has done.

Some people believe that homosexuality is a sin, but what that have to do with love? The task of any religion is not to teach us who we’re entitled to hate, but who we’re required to love.

To our gay brothers and sisters at BYU you are not alone. We love you. There is a place for you, with us and with God.

For more information, see the Facebook group: ShameOnYou.

I project that my real-life schedule should lighten up sometime, but unfortunately it won’t be this week or next week. Fortunately, all the other bloggers of Outer Blogness (and beyond) have come through with tons of great posts! Here are some highlights:

Non-believers can’t seem to win — non-belief can always be blamed on caring too much or not enough. This helpful diagram should make it all clear. You can lapse in one religion, and still not quite be welcome in another. Discussions across belief lines can be a challenge. So you find your way and learn to be happy in your own skin.

The “Circling the Wagons” conference was a big success. Sexuality has such a range of possible expressions.

For all you correlation buffs, here are some picky rulebooks and their consequences. (Perhaps flexibility works better? Don’t do this to your kids.)

For history buffs, there were some interesting articles this week on Mormonism’s key fronts: gender, race, and marriage (polygamy), and a bonus about some hippy prophet. (Plus: what’s up with Mormons and the symbol of the cross?)

In the department of embracing doubt, believers are capable of asking hard questions about theology.

News highlights: The western black rhino is now extinct, and (unrelated) responding to hate with love.

For this week’s birthday blogs, here are some interesting cupcakes. And let’s wrap up with some more amusing images! Happy Monday morning!