The reason the advice seemed questionable was because it seemed like he might be telling the guy to will himself into believing something he doesn’t believe. If someone were to show me proof that I’d be happier as a believer than as an atheist, I still wouldn’t be able to will myself into believing that God really exists. So if the questioner, say, believes that the LDS church is the only true church, then telling him to just believe in some other religion might not be realistic advice.

OTOH, as I said in #4, it looks like that might not be this guy’s situation…

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If he’s rational enough to realise he can’t pray away the desires, perhaps he can be rational enough to eventually realise that all religion is simply the construct of humans and that no person has got more authority, knowledge or wisdom to tell him how he ought to live his life than he himself already possesses.

And I agree that I don’t see why Dan Savage should lose credibility by stating the perfectly reasonable and rational response of if your social network isn’t working for you, then find one that does – but don’t try to force yourself into a system that hurts you. I think that’s advice which should be given and followed far, far more often.

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I find nothing wrong with Dan Savage’s advice. It seems like common sense.

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However, there’s one other clue that makes Dan’s advice seem appropriate in this case. The questioners explanation for sticking with his faith is “Religion has been for me a source of strength in my times of weakness, a rock in the times of storm, and above all a home to return to when I have lost my path.” What’s striking is that it’s not: “I’m certain that the teachings of my faith are true and that God wants me to live a life of celibacy and solitude.” So it might be reasonable to point out that the comfort he’s getting from his religion might also come from some other religion; one that’s OK with the gay…

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I was just discussing this with a religious friend the other day – she looks for congregations, not denominations. So, she just moved to a new place, and will probably attend a number of churches to figure out where she wants to attend regularly. From what I can tell, this is incredibly common among mainstream Christian churches. Among some believers – there is a big difference between say, Presbyterians and Methodists. But for others, not so much. You don’t have to become re-baptized or anything.

Did I misunderstand your comment?

chanson – as far as people able to reconcile their faith with who they are…I can’t say. I wonder if it’s like some Roman Catholics I know who remain faithful, but use birth control.

I think it’s part of the human condition to (sometimes) hold beliefs that directly contradict one another – or are in conflict. For example, a belief that dependence on foreign oil and fossil fuels is bad – but a person not being willing to give up their personal vehicle…In general, yes, it would be nice if everyone practiced as they preached, but in my experience it doesn’t always happen that way.

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* Note to Bill Donohue: Yes, I’ve confused the virgin birth with the Immaculate Conception. So sue me …

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This loses him credibility. Yet, I think that his advice isn’t completely irrelevant…rather, couldn’t we hope that through more research and intense study (like many of us did when we had such tough doctrinal or historical issues?) would cause someone to “shake out” so to speak (or to re-evaluate their religion radically?) So the advice isn’t terrible.

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